Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.

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(302): View more from Delaware

dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.

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(813): View more from Florida

Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"

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