Texts From Last Night

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  (915): View more from Texas

  What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin

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  (915): What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin http://tfl.nu/xzqi
  Replies (52) Good night (1004) Bad night (3386)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?

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  (704): is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell? http://tfl.nu/12z5
  Replies (28) Good night (643) Bad night (4682)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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  (440): I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat. http://tfl.nu/xoj4
  Replies (6) Good night (1195) Bad night (3350)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.

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  (618): When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/ntsr
  Replies (9) Good night (3722) Bad night (1317)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.

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  (806): I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/pksd
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (4194)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you

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  (832): you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you http://tfl.nu/7l95
  Replies (9) Good night (883) Bad night (3358)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

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  (508): Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now. http://tfl.nu/sqxt
  Replies (4) Good night (2373) Bad night (1447)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Who is this?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?

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  (603): Who is this? (1-603): You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo (603): Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this? http://tfl.nu/iabt
  Replies (5) Good night (2681) Bad night (1049)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?

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  (806): Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight? http://tfl.nu/jadi
  Replies (6) Good night (3213) Bad night (927)
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  (310): View more from California

  Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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  (310): Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN. http://tfl.nu/m6qh
  Replies (7) Good night (1127) Bad night (594)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

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  (478): Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend http://tfl.nu/itrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (633)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.

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  (914): So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy. http://tfl.nu/skqk
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (510)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."

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  (610): You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would." http://tfl.nu/q6wg
  Replies (0) Good night (840) Bad night (406)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

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  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (831) Bad night (395)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.

  (779): View more from Illinois

  YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.

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  (402): Dude, I have everything I need for meth here. (779): YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT. http://tfl.nu/5fhr
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (726)

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