I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.