yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back