Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.