Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
