Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize