It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I party with great urgency now.
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