I got chris browned last night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
