so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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