Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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