hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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