But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
