i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
