yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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