You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
