I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
