Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
