I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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