dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
