dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
