I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
