I hate your face
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
