This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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