question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he was CRYING into my vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
