We got so high we made milksteak
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
