Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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