so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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