I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
