he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
