dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
