this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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