I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
