I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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