my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
