so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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