I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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