one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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