So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
