my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
being pregnant is like rehab
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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