Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
