She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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