Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
