I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
