Sry I called you an 8
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
