He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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