I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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