yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
