The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
