so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Redeem this text for a blowjob
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
