me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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