Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
