All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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