Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
how does that bad decision feel?
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