They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
