Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I had to cum in my sink.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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