my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
