let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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