I just made out with a guy for $7.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
