And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh god it's open bar.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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