my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
