ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
