is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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