you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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