I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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