my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
