In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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