Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Randomize
