16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself