win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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