I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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