Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
