you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In other news, I just burned my penis
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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