He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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