Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
