haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
