I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
