well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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