Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
