weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think I won the penis lottery.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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