Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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